Top 5 Lists from the Mile High Scene
I was able to reach out to some of the kids in the 303 or maybe the 720 and yes, even a 719.
John Moore (Theatre Columnist Denver Post)
Top five 2008 facebook statuses:
5. John’s tracking number is not valid.
4. John is adrift at 120 mph.
3. John woke up in need of a nap.
2. John has decided to finally have it all figured out by 3:12 a.m. on Feb. 6.
1. John is your only hope.
Top five 2008 facebook music-reference statuses:
5. John came in here for that special offer (clash)
4. John speeds up for animals .. Supper Furry Animals!
3. John has faith in worthless knowledge (bill callahan)
2. Don’t you know who I think I was? (the replacements)
1. John is all dressed up in dreams, naked (magnetic fields)
Top five facebook sarah palin statuses:
5. Part 1: Google search of “Sarah Palin” and 2008″ returns 30-year-old news story: “Bikini-clad, gun-toting teen speaks in tongues at Alaska kegger.”
4. Part 2: Experts later determined Palin was just drunk and slurring the words: “Fill my f***ing beer cup, or I’ll drill your ass all the way back to Coors.”
3. John is diagramming Sarah Palin’s sentences.
2. John is supporting Levi Johnston for vice president because of the executive experience he gained as captain of the Wasilla High hockey team.
1. Yes, that was 18,000 Republicans in
St. Paul chanting, “Drill, Baby, Drill!”
Everything Absent or Distorted
EAOD’s Favorite Haiku taken from favorite live music review:
the inane mook-rock
basically there to sleepwalk
disinterested slap
[alternate]
droopy-eyed singer
going to be fun to watch
And they have sweet hair
Our Favorite Numbers:
1. 1
2. 13
3. sixty nine (this went along with our “recreate 69” campaign during the DNC)
4. R
5. 1 (tied for first and fifth)
Favorite Alternative titles we considered instead of “The Great Collapse”:
1. hump/heart
2. Wigs are the answer.
3. PCP: Have some.
4. I am going to get you sucker.
5. Electric Boogaloo
Favorite thing overheard recording our record:
“Are you trying to sound like Edith Bunker on that part?”
You’re all welcome to join the Needlepoint family now. We’ll be checking for lip-burns as an entrance exam.
Jon Wenzel (Denver Post A&E Critic and editor of Get Real Denver)
Favorite Asian soup:
Tom yum from J’s Noodles on Federal Boulevard
Face-meltingly hot and indescribably addictive, this traditional Thai
soup reeks of lemongrass and sweet, eternal justice. J’s Noodle’s serves
up an exemplary version with plump mushrooms and enough heat to put
Wyoming’s wind turbines out of business. A perfect way to start an
evening of Pad Kra Pow, Druken Noodles, and/or sin.
Favorite idiotic mistake:
Getting towed in Hollywood on my first trip to L.A.
I made a lot of clumsy mistakes in 2008 (breaking my glasses, losing my
keys, always forgetting where I parked the car) but my most idiotic of
was returning to my parking spot outside a church in Hollywood and
finding my car had been towed. After midnight. On a weekday. It was my
first time to L.A. and I’d only been in the city a few hours, so my
confusion, loss, and mild shame was palpable. $250 and a couple hours
later I was back at my cousin’s house off Melrose, dreaming of street
signs and maps.
Favorite surreal political-music moment:
Reviewing Metallica at the Pepsi Center on election night
If I hadn’t been on the job for The Denver Post at the venue that hosted
the DNC a couple months earlier, I probably would have been working for
the paper in some capacity. This was at least a quick way to get it over
with. Still, as I sat there watching the world’s biggest metal group
bang out oldies like “One,” and new songs from the not-so-shitty “Death
Magnetic,” I couldn’t help but want to get the fuck out of there, be
with my friends, and celebrate the dawn of a new political era.
Favorite indie comedy show:
Paul F. Tompkins at the Oriental Theater
The round-faced Tompkins excels at prickly reserve and absurd
indignation, and his narrative set-ups are tours through a labyrinth of
retarded fanboys, ex-girlfriends, celebrity culture, stoners, his
beloved Los Angeles, and pretty much everything else. His punchlines, on
the other hand, are atomic bombs. The former “Mr. Show” cast
member/writer and “Best Show Ever” regular had the audience at the
Oriental whooping and hollering during his visit in May.
Favorite neon spazz-rock trio:
Pretty and Nice
Pretty and Nice hail from Boston, but they may as well be from southern
Ohio circa 1996, as much as they incorporate elements of Dayton-bred
acts like Brainiac and Guided by Voices into their squiggling synths,
monaural guitars and insanely catchy vocal melodies. There’s also bits
of Elvis Costello and Nick Lowe (and latter day post-punk/pop whores the
New Pornographers) out in front, and somehow this mash of old and new
makes perfect, danceable sense.
The Donnybrook Writing Academy
Top 5 parties of 2008:
1.) Jim McTurnan’s bar-passing absinthe-fueled photos-for-ricardo-taking birthday party hot tub DJ extravaganza
2.) SXSW Hot Freaks party
3.) Rirardo’s video game party
4.) New Years party at Donnybrook Manor where THIS happened: http://floatinglightbulbfilms.com/news/2008/01/04/get-me-away-from-here-im-dying-new-years-lip-dub-no-2/
5.) DISCOBAMA at during the DNC at Shag Lounge presented by Monolith, Fuel Friends, Cause = Time and Donnybrook
Top 5 favorite slang terms/expressions of 2008:
1.) Degrassius
2.) Don’t be such a vaj
3.) Crazy town!
4.) SRSLY? SRSLY.
5.) whee!
Top 5 places for weird cute cheap clothes:
1.) 707 Fashion on Federal Blvd – a hoochie store with cheap, crazy clothes
2.) ARC on South Broadway
3.) Good Will on South Broadway
4.) Fancy Tiger
5.) Target.
Top 5 Donnybrook Quotes of 2008 in the category of SOCIETY:
1.) “In a rote and blatant attempt to assert my place in any fellatio parade that might spontaneously erupt in the day’s course of events, I chose a scant tennis outfit as attire for the Donnybrook BBQ.”
-Rbt. B Rutherford, http://godonnybrook.com/home/?p=902
2.) “If you, dear reader are also worried about the economy get yourself to a bar, wherein if the bartender is as intelligent as most bartenders are he’ll slap the shit out of you and force Beam down your throat until you start laughing rainbows.”
-the Bartender, http://godonnybrook.com/home/?p=1381
3.) “Not only has the literacy of women increased, but it is also now fairly well accepted that they can read whatever their father or husband chooses for them.”
-Irving J. Silvertoad, http://godonnybrook.com/home/?p=391
4.) “If anyone needs me, they can reach me at the 19th Hole at the Primm Valley Lakes course nursing a battered ego and an overpriced cocktail.”
-Professor Honeydew, http://godonnybrook.com/home/?p=895
5.) “Congratulations, Senor Douchebag, you win the douchiest of all douche awards!!!!!!!! There’s not enough guilt to be racked with to make this one ok. Wow. I’m not even mad, that’s just impressive.”
– Ivyy Goldberg, http://godonnybrook.com/home/?p=1065
Top 5 Donnybrook Quotes of 2008 in the category of MUSIC:
1.) “Some of the tracks seem too ripe for co-opting by hot-shit branding shops who roll out Gen Y/Millennial lifestyle ads for portable media, where elfin tribes of freckled what-nots frolic in a fartless utopia.”
-Colonel Hector Bravado, http://godonnybrook.com/home/?p=469
2.) “Strings swell, marimbas meander, vocals float like the moan of a sad ghost and atmosphere reigns supreme. To call this important is really an understatement. To call it a bar-raising is obvious. But to call it a sign of things to come, a guidepost for other bands to follow? Well, that’s a prayer.”
-Dr. Lazarus Helm, http://godonnybrook.com/home/?p=883
3.) “These are songs for your mother, these are songs for your mother’s mother, these are songs for a state fair, these are songs that you hear under a tent at a Six Flags in July, but these are not songs that will matter to anyone of any level of taste in any way.”
-Dr. Lazarus Helm, http://godonnybrook.com/home/?p=847
4.) “See, at best, what we’ve got here is a collection of cobbled-together farts that are the result of somebody toying around with their shiny new M-Audio keyboard in Garageband.”
-Dr. Lazarus Helm, http://godonnybrook.com/home/?p=1363
5.) “You know you’re on an incurable speed metal kick when you’re listening to Metallica’s Kill ‘Em All and you’re screaming “Play it faster, you faggots!” at the speakers because it’s not as fast as Slayer’s Reign in Blood.”
-Colonel Hector Bravado, http://godonnybrook.com/home/?p=469
Ricardo Baca (Denver Post Music Critic)
Top take-one-for-the-team concerts of May 2008 (Starting with the most painful)
1. Duran Duran, May 12, 2008 (Wells Fargo Theatre, for my girlfriend Nichole)
2. The Swell Season, May 3, 2008 (Ellie Caulkins Opera House, Nichole again)
3. Kate Nash, May 5, 2008 (Fox Theatre, for myself)
4. Does It Offend You, Yeah?, May 10, 2008 (Bluebird Theatre, for my friend Megan)
5. Laura Viers, May 9, 2008 (Walnut Room, for my friend Merrily)
Top 5 most likely to succeed in Denver music
1. Ben Desoto
2. John Kuker
3. Ricardo Baca
4. Julie Davis
5. Aaron Hobbs
(tie)
5. John Moore
Top 5 T-shirts bought at rock shows in 2008
1. Jamie Lidell, white
2. Avett Brothers, white
3. AC/DC, black (bought for nephew after much prodding)
4. Cloud Cult, brown
5. Daniel Johnston, white
Top 5 Avett Brothers concerts in 2008
1. March 30, 2008 (El Rey Theater, Los Angeles, CA)
2. Sept. 14, 2008 (Red Rocks, Morrison, CO)
3. April 12, 2008 (Neumos, Seattle, WA)
4. April 1, 2008 (House of Blues, Anaheim, CA)
5.Aug. 19, 2008 (Strings Pavilion, Steamboat Springs, CO)
Top 5 rock T-shirts I wish I’d bought in 2008
1. Flight of the Conchords
2. Black Lips
3. X
4. Akron Family
5. Bon Jovi
Top 5 friend’s animals in 2008
1. Nigel (Markgraf)
2. Master Bates (Covington)
3. Clyde (Kennedy)
4. Grace (Kennedy)
5. Jaya (Kennedy)
Top 5 best-dressed in Denver music
1. Ben Desoto
2. John Kuker
3. Ricardo Baca
4. Julie Davis
5. Aaron Hobbs
(tie)
5. Nate Meese
Top 5 countries visited in 2008
1. Laos
2. Thailand
3. Vietnam
4. South Korea
5. Cambodia
Top 5 sexiest Denver radio voice
1. Katherine Peterson
2. Nerf
3. Ed Post
4. Dave Herrera
5. Megan Sforzini (Coming soon)
Top 5 forgettable washed-up ex-hip-hop acts playing random Denver bars
1. Tone Loc
2. Digital Underground
3. Stevie B.
4. DJ Skribble
5. Tone Loc (Fuck that guy)
Top 5 Colorado music websites that are taking over the world
1. gigbot.net
2. fuelfriends.blogspot.com
(tie)
2. radio1190.org
3. julioenriquez.blogspot.com
4. godonnybrook.com
5. denvereverb.com
(tie)
5. naughtynicegay.com
Top 5 hottest Donnybrook-related couples in Denver music
1. Erin ‘n’ Cliff
2. Annie ‘n’ Jon
3. Nina ‘n’ Danny
4. Syd ‘n’ his girl
5. The Bartender ‘n’ his bottle
Top 5 Colorado music festivals
1. Monolith
2. The Underground Music Showcase (UMS)
3. Westword
4. The Colfaxish Tour
5. Mile High Music Festival
Top 5 bullshit hipster names overheard at Denver rock shows in 2008
1. Topher
2. Antony
3. Beela
4. Ricardo
5. Slingblade
Top 5 best hair in Denver music
1. Lisa Gedgaudas
(tie)
1. Eryc Eyl
2. Magic Cyclops
3. Todd Roeth
4. Ben Desoto, pre-UMS
5. Mike Marchant
(tie)
5. Ben Desoto, post-UMS
(tie)
5. John Wenzel, mid-UMS
Heather Browne (I AM FUEL, YOU ARE FRIENDS)
Top 5 shows of my humble year
5. Nine Inch Nails @ Red Rocks
4. Frightened Rabbit @ The Hi-Dive
3. Bon Iver at Golden Gate Park in San Francisco/Outside Lands
2. The giant, thrumming mass of the U.M.S.
1. Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds @ The Ogden
Top 5 books i enjoyed reading this year
5. The Road, Cormac McCarthy
4. Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, Nick Flynn
3. Say You’re One of Them, Uwem Akpan
2. Fools Rush In, Bill Carter
1. World War Z, Max Brooks
Top 5 memorable costumes i saw on halloween
5. Joshua Novak covered in gold glitter and wearing a Speedo, as Michael Phelps (or Mango)
4. The dude in the white dress shirt, black tie and bike helmet, with nametag saying “Mormon.”
3. The guy that had the courage to dress as an enormous penis
2. Erin Barnes, Cliffy and Timmy as tri-fold “Christmas”
1. Sid Pink’s girlfriend dressed up as Sid Pink
Worst five venues (that pat and Nate Meese go to) to pee at (if you absolutely have to go):
5 Being the least worst and 1 being the absolute worst
5.) the ogden – just played there last weekend… Bad soap, bad smell, urinals too close to the stalls. Nuf said.
4.) the oriental – a little too cramped. Out of all the bath rooms on the list this is the least smelliest but it’s lack of elbow/comfort room puts it on the list.
3.) 3 kings tavern – shower curtain for a stall door… Really?
2.) the hi-dive – classic creepy ‘silence of the lambs’ lighting, stickers of bands that I’ve never heard of, no mirror, piss all over the floors, no stall doors. Come on matt!
1.) the (old) larimer lounge – these
Bathrooms were so out of control and ridiculous that they had to put an enter addition on to the venue just so that people could relieve themselves in between metal sets at 2 pm on a sunday! Granted the new bathrooms are way better, but these old ones were so Gnarly that they earned the top spot on our countdown.
p.s.
this is all in good fun
Matt Fecher (Monolith Music Festival)
Top Five Artists that Didn’t Suck in 2008
1. TV on the Radio
2. 3Oh!3
3. Santogold
4. MGMT
5. The KnuX
Katherine Peterson (Music Director Radio 1190)
Top 5 Concerts
1. Magnetic Fields @ Boulder Theater
2. Kraftwerk @ Fillmore
3. Fluid w/ Boss 302, The Omens @ Bluebird Theater
4. Moonspeed w/ The Wheel, Bad Weather CA @ Hi-Dive
5. Au, Cause Co-Motion, Crystal Stilts @ Piano’s (CMJ)
Top 5 Local Albums
1. Various – Local Anesthetic (Smooch)
2. Bad Luck City – Adelaide (Self)
3. 16 Horsepower – Live March 2001 (Alternative Tentacles)
4. Overcasters – Revolectrocution (Self)
5. Christines – Here it Comes Again (lsd25records)
Here are my top 5’s
1. Being alive. It’s always at the top of the list. Life is taken for granted far too often, and I feel grateful to still be here with you all.
2. Working with one of my biggest influences, “Ulrich Schnauss” on not 1, but 4 tracks, as well as a tour! Was absolutely a dream come true.
3. East Village Radio (NYC) & Timmy G for pushing music further than anyone else I know. His show is absolutely gorgeous, and I hope it continues for many years!
4. Finishing our album. It is truly an important one for me to get out there, and it took over a year to finish. Excited to have you hear it.
5. The XBOX 360. This thing has turned me back into a video game nerd, and I love it. So many good games. . .
Super late entry from Eric Eyl (Mile High Makeout –Westword)
Top 5 Denver musical losses of 2008:
1. Red Orange Yellow
2. Machine Gun Blues
3. Planes Mistaken for Stars
4. John Baxter
5. Devon Shirley
Top 5 beers of 2008:
1. $1 Miller Lites at Sputnik on Monday bingo nights
2. Left Hand’s Snowbound
3. anything from Deschutes
4. Lost Lake (aka Lost Hope)
5. Titan IPA
Top 5 hipster drinks of 2008:
1. Fernet Branca
2. Pimm’s Cup
3. Stella Artois (try a double-blind taste test with PBR)
4. Wisconsin Lunchbox
5. $1 Miller Lites at Sputnik on Monday bingo nights
Top 5 ways to buy music in 2008:
1. eMusic
2. Rhapsody
3. independent record store
4. SnoCap
5. eBay
Top 5 ways to steal music in 2008:
1. Rapidshare
2. Megaupload
3. zShare
4. bitTorrent
5. become a major label
Top 5 song titles of 2008:
1. “Thatcher Fucked the Kids” by Frank Turner
2. “Banana Nicole Smith” by Achille Lauro
3. “I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You” by Black Kids
4. “Booze, Broads and Beelzebub” by Chrome Division
5. “There Is A Retard On Acid Holding A Hammer To Your Brain” by Dark Meat
